


(the more I get to know you) the less I know

by Fluffypanda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, BAMF Tony Stark, Babysitting, Fluff and Angst, Kidnapped Tony Stark, Kidnapping, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Racist Language, from villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-17 19:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda
Summary: Everytime Steve thinks he knows something about Tony, it gets turn on it's head.akaSam asks Steve to babysit his nephew, Tony gets kidnapped, and everybody learns something new.





	(the more I get to know you) the less I know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Juulna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juulna/gifts).



> Juulna, I hope you like this fic! It's not really something I'd write normally, but I got inspired to challenge myself by combining three prompts (If you want to know which three, I'm putting them in the end note to avoid spoilers). I tried to keep this fairly canon-compliant pre-AOU, but there is some divergence from canon, both clear and subtle.
> 
> I once again decided to draw on the comics for the villains of this fic and ended up with the [Sons of the Serpent](http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Sons_of_the_Serpent_\(Earth-616\)). I borrowed a number of elements from their first and second appearances in the comics, including their evil plan and motto.  
> Sam's [nephew](http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jody_Casper_\(Earth-616\)) is also from the comics, though I aged him down significantly here.
> 
> WARNING: No children are harmed in this story, but they are put in some serious danger by the villains. If this makes you uncomfortable, this might not be the fic for you. Also the villains are casually ableist (about shifting abilities/mental health) and racist in their ideology as per their original comic appearances. 
> 
> Thanks again to [erawebuilt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/erawebuilt/pseuds/erawebuilt) for the beta work!

“Sorry, we had to cut the run short, man,” Sam said, shouldering his bag and throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders. “And thanks for agreeing to do this. I really appreciate it.”

Despite the genuine warmth in his voice, Sam sounded like he’d been stretched thin, something Steve heard more and more as the search for Bucky dragged on. It was such a sharp contrast to Sam earlier this morning, bright and refreshed after spending the past few days with Steve at Stark Tower.

“Anytime,” Steve replied, leaning into Sam’s hug.

Sam bent down and ruffled Jody’s brown curls affectionately. “See ya, little man.”

Jody looked up at his uncle and babbled a bit of nonsense back to him. Sam laughed and headed for the elevator. “Well, I’m out. I’ll call if anything comes up.”

The elevator doors closed behind Sam, and Steve was left alone with a one-year-old in the Avengers communal floor. Jody seemed pretty content where Sam had set him up, surrounded with toys and blankets. Steve, on the other hand, couldn’t settle down.

Childcare did not come naturally to Steve. Not that he disliked children or was totally incapable with them, but he always felt a little like he was about to do something terribly wrong when it came to watching one.

After a few minutes of fidgeting, Steve set aside his clothes and shifted, just to get rid of the itch beneath his skin. The transformation washed over him like a wave, smoothing away some of his ragged edges. He shook out his golden mane with a huff of satisfaction.

Babbling a bit, Jody clumsily pushed himself up and toddled over to Steve with rapt fascination, he’d probably never seen anyone with a lion anima before. The attention was both adorable and gratifying. Steve nuzzled Jody affectionately, pushing his head under Jody’s chin and nearly toppling him over. Jody tried to grab one of Steve’s ears, but Steve pulled away before his tiny fingers could get a good grip. With Steve out of reach, Jody’s attention went back to his toys.

Steve prowled around the perimeter of the communal floor a few times before settling down in the center of the living room near Jody. Soon enough Jody abandoned his blocks in favor of grabbing fistfuls of Steve’s mane. Interest renewed, Jody seemed more than happy to treat Steve as his new toy, climbing on top of him and tumbling over his legs. Steve bore it with only a twitch of his tail.

Heralded by the ding of the elevator, Tony came stumbling in with a coffee mug in hand, looking a little ragged. His hair was getting longer, revealing a slight curl. Tony had clearly made attempts to push it back, but only succeeded in smearing it with engine grease and exacerbating his cowlick. He blinked adorably at Steve and Jody before looking down at his empty mug and headed for the coffee maker.

Nudging Jody back, Steve stood up and stretched, his muscles rippling beneath his fur, tail waving, claws flexing, before shifting back to his own skin. Jody, upset that he could no longer pull on Steve’s fur, whined sharply at himas Steve grabbed his pants off the couch and slipped them on. Tony watched from his place next to the coffee maker.

Steve felt uncomfortable staying shifted in front of Tony. As far as Steve knew, Tony never shifted in front him or the other Avengers. It seemed fairly normal when they barely knew each other, but ever since the Avengers moved into the tower, to better hunt for Loki’s staff and the remaining Hydra cells, the team had eased into spending time together in their other forms, except for Tony.

At first Steve thought hiding his anima was Tony’s way of keeping his distance, after all, outside of missions, they only saw him for the time it took to brew coffee or, if Steve was lucky, at the Avengers meetings he organized. Half the time Tony didn’t show up to those; perhaps because the two of them tended to turn the meetings into full-blown arguments, rather than the calm policy debates they were intended to be.

But Steve was beginning to suspect that Tony might not be able to shift anymore. There was no evidence that he has been shifting in private, no toys or snacks suitable for an anima, no hair or feathers left behind. Steve knew that people who survive traumatic situations sometimes lost the ability to access their anima or manifested a different one afterwards.

The beep of the coffee maker pulled Steve out of his thoughts, and he watched as Tony mechanically filled his mug until it was almost overflowing. Without even waiting for it to cool, he proceeded to gulp it down. Steve had half a mind to stop him and put him to bed instead, but Steve knew from experience that it wouldn’t end well.

“Did you even sleep?” Steve asked with a sigh, though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Murgh,” Tony grunted, curling more closely around his steaming mug of coffee.

Yeah, Tony definitely didn’t sleep. There wasn’t much point in talking to him when he was like this. Steve wished Tony wouldn’t do this to himself, but every time he tried to talk to him about it, it turned into a fight.

Jody screeched tearfully and fell over in a fit of pique. Steve panicked--why was he crying?! Over in the kitchen, Tony sat up a bit to observe the two of them.

Steve crouched down and carefully picked up the squirming child to look him over. His crying subsided somewhat when Steve lifted him, but returned to his previous level of wailing when he didn’t move further. Struck with a bit of inspiration, Steve bounced Jody up and down, occasionally lifting him high above his head. This quickly put a smile on Jody’s face and an end to the tears.

 

===

 

While Steve played with Jody, a few of the other Avengers staying in the tower drifted into the kitchen, giving Tony a wide berth since he tended to be grumpy before having about a hundred cups of coffee, to put it lightly. Thor passed through like a storm, leaving a path of breakfast-based destruction in his wake before he left for wherever it was his girlfriend lived now.

Clint and Natasha entered next, dressed and carrying duffle bags. Clint poured a bowl of cereal from a colorful box while Natasha spread cream cheese on a bagel.

“Morning. Going somewhere?” Steve set Jody down and, before he could get upset again, picked up a well-loved plush cat, making the toy dance around in front of him. It quickly caught Jody’s attention, and he reached out to grab it from Steve.

Confident Jody was occupied, Steve stood and stretched before heading over to where the kitchen met the living room. The spot next to Tony at the counter offered a convenient view of both rooms, and if that meant sitting close to him, well, Steve wasn’t going to complain.

“We got called in to help with that snake problem,” Natasha said, squishing the two sides of her bagel together.

She referred, of course, to a group calling themselves the Sons of the Serpent. Recently, there had been a number of vicious attacks targeting immigrants and people of color. So far the attacks were sporadic, almost uncoordinated. They probably would have been taken for random hate crimes if not for the calling cards, serpentine statues left at the scene and the statements by the group claiming responsibility.

“I thought it didn’t ‘warrant’ our ‘intervention,’” Steve spat through gritted teeth.

It was unbelievable that people like that were going around practically unchallenged. If he had half a lead, he’d probably run off after them. Supposedly, everyone from the FBI to local law enforcement were trying to track them down, but as far as Steve knew, they hadn’t had much success.

“It doesn’t.” Natasha shrugged. “But it turns out they could use a couple former SHIELD operatives.”

“There’s word they’re planning something big,” Clint added in between bites of cereal.

Bruce was next to arrive, wandering into the kitchen with a yawn in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Tony grunted something that could be taken as a “good morning” if the listener felt generous, and Bruce patted Tony on the back as he passed. Bruce set the kettle to boil and pushed a couple slices of his multigrain bread into the toaster.

Looking between Clint and Natasha, Bruce said, “Morning, guys. Mission?”

“We’re heading out now,” Natasha said, making for the elevator with her bagel and duffle bag in hand. Tossing his bowl and spoon in the sink, Clint quickly followed behind.

“Good luck!” Bruce shouted after them.

Natasha simply waved while she continued on her way, Clint right beside her.

Steve noticed Bruce’s gaze was not on his breakfast, but rather directed toward the living room. Bruce smiled at Jody, something in his eyes speaking of longing. From what Steve knew about the Hulk, there was a good chance Bruce might never get to have kids.

“Want to help look after him? I could use a hand,” Steve offered.

Bruce looked pained as he said, “It’s probably best if I’m not around kids…”

As soon as his breakfast was ready, Bruce ran off to his lab. Steve felt a little bad for pushing; he should have realized Bruce wouldn’t see it as an opportunity so much as a reminder of what he could never have.

Jody giggled, drawing Steve’s attention from Bruce’s retreating form. It was the first time all morning Steve had heard him so happy. He turned around to see Tony leaning over to make faces at Jody, who grasped Tony’s finger in his chubby fist.

Tony, for his part, seemed just as happy to play with Jody. Steve hid a grin, struck by how endearingly unexpected it was that someone like Tony Stark would like babies.

“Who’s the little tyke?” Tony finally asked, pulling his hands free from Jody’s iron grip.

“He’s Jody, Sam’s nephew,” Steve explained, pushing off his chair and walking over to them. “You haven’t seen him yet? He’s been here since Thursday.”

Tony looked up at Steve in surprise. Steve would have thought for sure that JARVIS would have notified Tony when Steve ran the request by him.

“What’s Sam’s nephew doing in my tower? Not that I mind.”

“Sam’s brother-in-law just died. His sister asked him to look after Jody for a while. I told Sam he could stay with me while he’s in the country, and Jody came with him.” Steve shifted uncomfortably, uncertain how to put it delicately. He felt oddly like he was revealing Sam’s personal business, but Tony had a right know; it _was_ his tower after all.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “And I suppose Sam is just popped out for a bite to eat?”

“Actually, he’s in Atlanta. Someone in his unit ran into some trouble and is in the hospital, so he asked me to take over for the day.”

Tony turned his attention back to Jody with a considering hum. “Must be tough getting tossed around like that. You’re a good sport, aren’t you?” He tickled Jody as he said it.

They played for a while longer, but a quick glance at the clock told Steve that it was later than expected, so he scooped Jody up and headed for the kitchen. He tucked Jody into his high chair and popped open a container of food retrieved from the bag Sam left for him.

Just as Steve was about to spoon some out to Jody, Tony asked, his expression astonishingly earnest, “Can I?”

Steve wasn’t sure letting Tony care for a baby would be a good idea--he wasn’t exactly known for his childcare skills-- but he found it difficult to say no. It was just feeding him, and Steve would be right there after all.

“Sure, but I’ll take over if he gives you any trouble.”

Steve threw together some sandwiches from what was stocked in the fridge, keeping an eye on Tony feeding Jody all the while.

Tony always left Steve feeling unbalanced, like the world had been flipped upside down. It was different from the world shaking revelation that seventy years had passed since he crashed the Valkyrie.

Spending time with Tony Stark was a bit like looking through a kaleidoscope. Steve’s view of not only Tony, but the world, kept shifting in subtle but significant ways Steve wouldn’t have thought possible. At first Steve saw Tony as a man playing at being a hero, only caring about himself. Then the kaleidoscope shifted and he could see Tony was willing to work with others and make the same sacrifices that Steve was. The longer he knew Tony, the less he realized he knew.

The constant change had been unwelcome at first, when any reminder of what Steve had lost hurt him, but he’d come to rely on Tony to challenge his view of things when needed. The team was better for it, Steve was better for it.

And the most amazing thing was, despite how wrong-footed Steve felt around him, once he let Tony’s actions speak louder than his words, he found that he actually liked Tony, maybe a little too much.

While Steve still missed Brooklyn and wanted to find a place there, Tony gave him a temporary home in his tower, along with some of his old belongings that were on the collector’s market. Whatever he could find, Tony bought back. Steve especially cherished the picture of him and his mother that Tony returned to him.

It wasn’t only Steve who Tony helped either. He made various upgrades to all their gear, he even promised to take a look at Sam’s wings. The offer to stay in the tower was open to all the Avengers and their guests. He spent billions on clean up and disaster relief in addition to everything he put into charities for a wide range of causes, from scholarships to conservation.

When you also take into account that Tony was exactly the kind of handsome that led to Steve tripping over his own feet and proved that he was smart as all hell on a daily basis, it was little wonder he had feelings for the man. However, what he’d seen of Tony was a mere sliver of what hid beneath the surface, and Steve wanted to know more.

Normally, Steve would have tried spending time with him in their shifted forms, but that wasn’t an option with Tony.  Instead, Steve slowly tried to get to know Tony other ways, such as inviting him to team activities. It wasn’t easy, Tony rarely sticking around long enough for Steve to make any sort of overture.

Maybe this could be his chance to grow closer with Tony.

Steve pushed a plate of sandwiches toward Tony. “Eat. I’ll take over from here.”

Tony blinked at the plate and looked up at Steve, smiling tentatively. “Are you sure? You haven’t eaten yours yet.”

“ _I’ve_ had breakfast. You need something in your stomach besides coffee,” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips.

 

===

 

Wiping sweet potato puree off his face, Steve regretted everything. Feeding Jody was not as easy as Sam made it look, and Steve had even less of an idea as to how Tony managed it.

“I guess it’s about time for his nap,” Steve said. He finished cleaning up Jody, and the high chair—and the floor. Now that he had a full belly, Jody’s eyes drooped in sleepy contentment. Without further ado, Steve released him from his high chair and set about preparing for naptime.

“I can help put him down if you want,” Tony offered with a gentle smile.

Various nightmare scenarios ran through Steve’s head, each more outrageous than the last, but Tony was the kind of person who made anything seem possible. Admittedly, Tony had actually been pretty helpful so far, but Steve wasn’t willing to push it. He wouldn’t know how to explain to Sam that he let Tony drop his nephew, or worse.

“Maybe it’s best you let me handle it.”

For a fraction of a second, Tony’s expression twisted like he’d been slapped, but then he nodded. “Say no more, I know when I’m not wanted.”

Steve winced, he hadn’t meant to make Tony feel like that. He always seemed to say the wrong thing to Tony.

“I was thinking of heading to the park with him after his nap, if you wanted, you could come.” Tony looked uncertain, so Steve rushed to add, “I could really use the backup, an extra set of eyes in case he finds some trouble.”

Tony put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I suppose I could tag along.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, turning from the conversation and unintentionally jostling Jody around. The sleepy boy wasn’t at all happy to be moved so roughly and began crying.

Afraid he somehow hurt Jody, Steve backed away in a panic. He didn’t know what to do; calming Jody earlier had been a fluke.  

“Someone’s cranky,” Tony said, moving past Steve confidently.

Steve watched in amazement as Tony cradled Jody and began gently bouncing him until he stopped crying.

Continuing to rock Jody, Tony said, “I assume you got a crib of some sort around here?”

Steve nodded dumbly. He couldn’t take his eyes from Tony and how well he handled Jody. “Yeah, Sam’s sister left a foldable one. It’s set up in my room right now.”

 

===

 

After a lot of fuss, they managed to get Jody to sleep. Tony vanished for a while after that, but reappeared ninety minutes later, freshly showered, to help rouse Jody from his nap and to the park. It was oddly domestic, packing snacks and what-not, dressing Jody, and putting the car seat in one of Tony’s less ostentatious cars.

The weather was fair, breezy and comparatively warm for spring in New York. They chose a modestly sized park located along the Hudson, Hippo Park. Kids of all ages, out with their parents or nannies, ran about the heavily shaded area surrounded by fences. Hippo statues, which spouted water during the summer months, lied at the center of the park and gave it its name. Since it was too early in the season for the waterworks, some of the kids scribbled on them in chalk while others climbed on top.

Jody clutched Tony’s pant leg and watched kids on the seesaw with rapt fascination. He toddled a few unsteady steps toward them before toppling over. Not one to be deterred, he continued on, crawling with surprising speed across the park.

Steve scooped him up and carried him to an open seesaw. He set Jody down and let him investigate, running his small hands over the yellow paint. Tony came up beside Steve.

When Jody began trying to climb on it, Tony boosted him up and sat down behind him to keep him steady.

“Hop on!” Tony waved to the other side of the seesaw. “We need a counter balance. Don’t we Jody?”

Hearing his name, Jody babbled excitedly back. Tony smiled fondly, looking almost completely unguarded. Steve had never seen Tony so happy.

Steve’s heart clenched and he felt incredibly lucky. “I guess I can’t say no to that.”

They rode the seesaw for a while, Tony making exaggerated noises every time he went up and down, and Jody giggling the whole time. Steve eventually decided it was time to give some other kids a turn, so they headed for the swings next.

The shrill ring of Steve’s cell phone interrupted their play. Tony looked at Steve questioningly.

“It’s Sam.” Steve glanced at his phone before stepping aside to take the call. “Hello.”

Tony gestured over to the hippos and mouthed something at Steve. While he couldn’t quite make out what Tony was saying, the point came across fine. Steve nodded and waved them off.

“Hey, how’s it going with Jody? Ready to throw in the towel yet?” Sam was making an obvious effort to sound cheerful, but his voice was a little too tight.

Holding Tony’s hand, Jody toddled over to the hippos. Steve smiled, noting that Tony had to stoop to reach him.

“Nah, he isn’t any trouble. We’re at the park.” He watched Tony supporting Jody as he climbed up one of the hippos. Before really thinking about it, Steve added, “Tony’s helping.”

Sam snorted into the phone, creating a burst of static. “Stark? He seems like he’d need more watching than Jody.”

“That’s what I thought, but he actually seems to know more about taking care of kids than me.” Jody’s foot slipped, and he lost his balance, but before he could fall Tony was there to catch him.

“I suppose if anyone is going to have hidden depths, it’d be him,” Sam said. “There’s got to be something that makes you turn into a middle schooler with their first crush whenever you talk about him.”

“I do not sound like a middle schooler!” Not that Steve knew what middle schoolers sounded like these days. He remembered the dramatics and hopeless pining of the kids in his class when he was around that age, and he blushed. He didn’t act like that—probably. “Anyway, how is it going on your end? Is Hall doing all right?”

“He’s in rough shape, but he woke up long enough to talk to me. It was the Sons of the Serpent. They tried to set his office on fire.” Sam’s breaths came out harshly, like he was wrestling for control. He continued, “He saw something. It could crack this whole thing wide open. I’m gonna check it out.”

“You want back up? I got word from Nat and Clint that they are planning something big.” Steve could drop Jody off back at home and be in Atlanta in two hours.

“No, I’ve got it covered. Recon only.”

Steve was still worried, but he nodded. “Okay, stay safe.”

“Thanks. Take care of Jody. And Steve?” Sam paused a second before continuing, “Tell Stark how you feel.”

Steve stared at the phone screen as it minimized to his homescreen, to his wallpaper of the whole team together. Steve stood in the center, his teammates bunched around him, but he focused on Tony. Tony stood off to the side of the group in his armor and a pair of sunglasses with his arms crossed.

Maybe Sam was right.

Movement on the hill bordering the edge of the park set off alarms in Steve’s head. He froze and slowly turned to watch them out of the corner of his eye.

At the crest of the hill a group of four had their caps pulled low and though they weren’t dressed much differently, they moved too deliberately for normal park goers, with military-like coordination. A quick scan of the area revealed that there were six more suspicious figures at various points around the park.

Pushing the panic button on his phone, Steve ran to grab his shield, hidden in a portfolio among the bags they brought with them. Just as Steve’s fingers closed around the strap of his shield, the group on the hill pulled out guns.

A hush fell over the park as one by one everyone in the park noticed the imminent danger they were in. It was as if the world had stopped around Steve. Then everything came back to life. People screamed, grabbed their children, and ran, some heading for cover at the parkhouse, others attempting to outright flee the park. A few even shifted and attempted to defend their children.

“Head for the parkhouse! Help is on the way!” Steve bellowed over the noise, praying that whoever these people were, they wouldn’t open fire.

Many didn’t listen and encountered the other assailants, now visibly armed, blocking the exits. It was utter chaos as people pushed and shoved in an effort to find a different path to safety.

Meanwhile, one of the men on the hill pulled out what could only be described as a laser knife and sliced through the chain link fence. The assailants stepped through the hole in the fence, ignoring the panicking bystanders and instead heading for Tony at the center of the park.

“Head for the parkhouse! Help is on the way!” Steve repeated. He needed to intercept them before they got to Tony.

A child sat in the dust, crying for her mother, tears streaming down her face. On the other side of the park, a woman pushed at the throng of people to get to her. They must have been separated in the stampede.

Tony had pulled out a gauntlet hidden in his sleeve and was firing off shots at the approaching men from behind one of the larger hippo statues. He kept glancing at the sky, watching for the arrival of one of his suits.

Steve detoured to pick the girl up before she got trampled. She squirmed away from him, sobbing even harder now, until he told her, “It’s okay, you’ll be alright.” She clung to him like a barnacle after that, and Steve desperately hoped it wasn’t a lie.

By the time Steve handed the girl off to her mother, Tony had abandoned his cover and was running for the Parkhouse with Jody in his arms. He shouted something to the crowd of parents and children taking shelter there, and a woman ran forward to take Jody from him.

With Jody safe, Tony turned around and met the assailants head on. They fired at him, but he dodged and rolled out of the way, pulling something from his pocket. Weaving around trees and benches for cover, he drew them away from the people taking shelter.

Steve threw his shield at the nearest one, wondering when the hell his backup would show up. It was taking too long. Tony must have been wondering the same thing; the object in his hand was his phone. He operated it one-handed as he ran.

A van, seemingly out of nowhere, careened through the remains of the chain link fence, cutting Tony off. One of the assailants took aim with his gun and Tony went down with a thud, a dart protruding from his neck.

 

===+===

 

Tony woke with his head pounding. He cracked his eyes open, and the pain doubled as the too-bright room spun around him. His mouth felt as dry and gritty as the Afghan desert. Zip ties dug into his wrists where he was bound to a chair.

“Fuck,” Tony slurred and immediately regretted it when the contents of his roiling stomach threatened to escape.

Someone laughed and grabbed Tony by the hair, pulling his head back with a sharp jerk. A pair of cruel brown eyes stared at him through a snake mask. “Look who’s up.”

The man’s grip on his hair was nauseatingly tight and kept Tony’s head firmly in place, but Tony’s gaze darted around as he tried to take in the situation, his thoughts syrupy and slow. He was in a cave—no, a small, dank room with rusty concrete walls. Another man, similarly dressed in a green robe and snake mask, riffled through a cluttered table pushed up against the wall.

Snakes. That should mean something to him.

Where was Steve? Did they get him, too? He was pretty sure he got Jody to safety, but he couldn’t remember what happened to Steve. He didn’t think he could live with it if anything happened to Steve.

A seething hatred for these buffoons boiled deep in the pit of Tony’s stomach. Fuck them for coming for him at the park, involving so many other people, _children_. If any of them were hurt, it was on him now, his fault.

“Fuck, where did you put the next dose?” the other robed man shouted.

Shit, they took his watch and shoes. He expected them to take his gauntlet and phone, but he’d hoped they would overlook the more innocuous bits of tech hidden inside the other items. The watch had a handy little stun feature while the shoes contained a GPS tracker that let JARVIS know his location. Without the second one, the odds of anyone coming to save Tony were low.

He was left with the chilling realization that his only chance was to shift.

“Why bother?” The hand fisted in Tony’s hair suddenly withdrew. “Everyone knows he’s too fucked up to shift anyway. That’s why we took him!”

Tony pushed back the dread to dredge up the energy to laugh in their face. “You guys are a real class act.” His words ran together, his tongue thick in his mouth  but it got their attention. He couldn’t let them pump any more sedatives into him, especially not if he had to shift.

“We who wear the Serpent's robes are the destined masters of America!” Hair-tugger said as he stepped forward, his face splitting into a smarmy grin that made Tony’s blood boil. He had all the confidence of someone who not only knew the words by heart, but believed them to his core. “As the first serpent drove Adam and Eve from Eden, so shall we drive from this land the unfit, the foreign-born, the inferior!”

The sedative was wearing off as they talked, if he could just clear his head— “What is even your plan here?”

“Our leader, the Supreme Serpent, tasked us with ensuring that the Avengers publicly take up the Serpent's cause. Captain America has ten hours to announce the Avengers’ support, or it’s your head,” the other one said.

Captain America-- then they probably didn’t have Steve. If they had Steve, they could just “persuade” him more directly, they wouldn’t need to hold Tony hostage. Speaking of which--

“You’re really holding _me_ hostage?” Wow, did they have the wrong guy. They barely functioned on the battlefield; outside of it, Steve wouldn’t even trust Tony to hold a baby while he was standing right there. “You think someone as stubbornly moral as Cap is gonna give in to your demands? For me?”

It hurt to admit it, and Tony wished with all his heart that it wasn’t true, but he simply wasn’t anything more than an annoying coworker to Steve. Half the time they were in the same room they couldn’t even be civil with each other. Steve wouldn’t even stay shifted in front of him.

Tony learned long ago that most people only tolerated him for the benefits of being close to Tony Stark, the fame, the fortune, the future of science. And, honestly, he got it, he fucked up a lot, he was privileged and it showed. Tony hardly even liked himself, why would anyone else actually like him?

“You better hope he does.”

“He doesn’t even like me. None of the Avengers do. I’m just the asshole that pays the bills,” he said, slurring his words more than he would have otherwise.

As he spoke, Tony focused inward, searching for that piece of himself that had gone untouched for a long time. It was startlingly easy to find. He reached out to it, and his anima stirred beneath his skin, but went no further, still trapped—for now.

“Don’t lie, Iron Man is essential to the team.”

Something long and dark sidled along the floor near the wall, unseen by the kidnappers. Before it darted underneath an overturned chair, Tony recognized it as Natasha’s anima, a sable. She wore a little harness full of surveillance equipment that Tony personally designed for her.

“Listen, I know you are a bunch of racist fucks, but there is a guy out there called War Machine, and he can replace me anytime.” Tony pushed a little harder against the wall between him and his anima. The taste of fire and ash filled his mouth; He was almost there. “They don’t need me. They don’t like me.”

Tony gave it one last push, and the wall shattered, letting his anima pour out. Tony’s entire being turned inside out as he shifted, twisting and pulling his body and mind until they fit the shape of his anima.

Then it was done. Variegated russet feathers, almost gold in some places, covered Tony’s head and chest, stretching out onto an impressive set of wings, and then smoothed to the chocolatey rosetted fur that covered the rest of his body. The zip ties had snapped, and his clothes lay in tatters around him. The chair cracked beneath his new form as, disoriented, he flared out his wings.

Tony startled and pulled them back in when the brown and gold feathers brushed the walls on either side of him. Flames wreathed his body, out of control and burning everything around him.

Gunfire echoed in his mind, shrouding the very real shouts of his two kidnappers. Tony tried to focus on the scent of the prey in front of him, but the smell of burning burlap and munitions was sickening. He could see the walls in sharp detail, every crack, every stain, and he swayed unsteadily on his paws as he tried to process it all.

His kidnappers huddled together in the corner of the room, stinking of fear. One of them creeped forward to grab their radio, but froze when Tony swiveled his head to look at him. Off to the side, Tony saw Natasha’s lanky form slinking out from her hiding place.

He hopped off the burning chair and took a few steps forward, only to find that the last, half-burnt scraps of his t-shirt pulled uncomfortably where feathers gave way to fur. With annoyed growl, he clawed them off until they became ashy fragments beneath his fire-licked paws. Rhodey had given him that shirt.

Seeing an opportunity, the hair-tugger shifted and made to escape. Noting that, ironically, his anima was some sort of gopher, Tony pounced and captured him, holding him down with one paw. His high-pitched squeal before he fell unconscious and automatically shifted back to his human form spoke to an instinctual part of Tony and was deeply satisfying.

Natasha darted past him and seized a small striped snake from behind its head, just as the ancient sprinkler system turned on. Her captive could only lash about helplessly in her grip.

Seconds later, a squad of eight ex-military types, ones he recognized from the attack in the park, rushed into the room, guns at the ready. The first couple skidded to a halt when they spotted Tony, clearly startled by the sight of Tony’s fantastical anima. Natasha and the snake were nowhere to be found. The squad moved to open fire, and Tony dove forward. He wrenched the guns out of their hands and melted them to slag.

Disarmed, they began shifting, and, unlike their bosses, their animas, a grizzly bear and a tiger, posed an actual threat. The rest of the squad followed suit, half of them shifting into wolves and the other half into hyenas, and it quickly turned into an all-out brawl.

The hyenas circled, their cackling barks splitting the air as they lunged at Tony. From their midst, the grizzly bear charged at Tony, a wall of pure muscle with human intelligence behind it. Tony reared back, out of the bear’s path, before leaping on his back with an avian screech. The stink of smoldering fur filled the air as the bear roared and bucked under Tony. He raked the bear’s back with flaming claws, holding with everything he had.

Pain flared in Tony’s back leg, and he looked back to see that a wolf had sunk his teeth deep into Tony’s spotted fur. Two other wolves nipped at Tony’s sides, distracting him enough that he was thrown from the bear’s back.

The fight spilled out into the larger part of the warehouse as Tony bounced painfully off an empty shelving unit, setting it ablaze, leaving him without time to recover before the tiger pounced on him. They were locked together, and Tony kicked out with his hind legs, aiming for her stomach.

The bear reared back with a roar, his fur still smoking despite the grimy water spewing from above. With a look of pure rage he rejoined the fray, heading directly for Tony, who was still grappling with the tiger.

Then a red, white, and blue blur cut through the chaos, slamming into the bear’s head with a dull crack. The bear swayed in place for several seconds before collapsing onto the smoldering shelving unit and involuntarily shifting back to his human form.

The star on his chest gleaming in the light of Tony’s fire, Steve dashed through the door, catching the shield on the rebound. The relief was instant, some part of Tony hadn’t quite been sure Steve was actually okay. Steve spared a momentary look of awe at Tony’s anima before turning and smashing his shield into the wolf leaping at him.

The tiger just wouldn’t quit despite the numerous burns that blackened her fur. She grabbed a hold of one of Tony’s wings in her jaws and yanked. Sharp pain flared in Tony’s shoulder. Putting all his power into one last kick, Tony tossed the tiger against the wall.

Steve had taken down one wolf, but the other two circled him, snarling. Tony struggled to his feet, already feeling the strain of maintaining his anima. Steve made eye contact with him, and after the tiniest nod, Tony leaped on the nearest wolf at the same time Steve brought his shield down on the other.

Meanwhile, Natasha was back on the field in human form, she must have had her uniform stashed somewhere, because she wore it now. She faced the hyenas down with her widow bites and a baton. One lunged and sunk her teeth into Natasha’s calf. There was sharp yelp, and two of the hyenas went down with arrows sticking out of them. Natasha took down the third one with a crack of her baton.

Sustaining his anima was taking a toll on Tony. He staggered off of the wolf, blood welling up from the gashes and bites that littered his body and his wing dragging along the floor. He collapsed, his anima falling away with him even as he hung on to his last threads of consciousness.

Steve caught him in his strong, warm arms and pulled Tony close, so that he supported all of Tony’s weight. He gently cupped Tony’s cheek. His azure eyes peered into Tony’s, the edges crinkling with concern.

“Tony?” Steve’s voice growing distant, Tony had to focus on the words formed by those rosy pink lips. “Hold on!”

Then the world faded away.

 

===

 

Tony opened his eyes in a dark room, his room in fact, comfortably surrounded by warm bodies on all sides. Steve snuggled up to Tony’s side, his great head resting on his paws. Thor, still in his armor, sprawled out on Tony’s opposite side. Her little ears twitching, Natasha curled up nose to tail in the crook of Tony’s elbow, near Steve. Bruce was a great dark lump stretched across Tony’s feet, producing soft ursine snores that shook the whole bed. Clint perched on the headboard, his feathers fluffed up in sleep.

A bone-deep ache pervaded Tony’s whole body, but he found he couldn’t care. He turned into Steve’s side and buried his face in his mane. With his teammates all around him, Tony drifted off again.

When Tony next woke, the team sat around his bed in human form, reading or on their phones. Hazy memories of the night before evaporated like morning dew, leaving him unsure if it was merely a dream.

“Hey, you’re up.” Steve handed Tony a glass of water.

Tony shuffled up in bed a little, ignoring the way the movement pulled on his wounds, and sipped the water. It helped ease some of his splitting headache.

“Jody missed you.”

Tony looked down and sure enough, there was Jody, holding on to the edge of the bed. Steve lifted him up and set him next to Tony. Stars appeared in the boy’s eyes as he reached to Tony, patting all over his face with excited babbling, as if to say ‘you’re alright!’

Tony hugged Jody close, tears pricking at his eyes. “I’m glad to see you’re alright too.”

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked, pulling Jody away to give Tony some space. He settled him on the floor near a pile of toys. Natasha knelt down next him and started to play with him.

“A little mauled to be honest.” Steve winced and went for the bottle of pills left on the nightstand. Tony grabbed his hand before his fingers could close around it. “I’ve had worse.”

“Tony…” Steve expression went tight at that last comment then softened a bit around the edges as Steve pleaded with his eyes.

“I’ve seen your injuries; I’m the one that bandaged them. They’ve got to hurt.” Bruce looked tired.

Tony remained resolute, pushing Steve’s hand away from the bottle. “I don’t want painkillers.”

“Fine,” Steve said with a sigh. Tentatively, he asked, “When you say you’ve had worse…”

“It wasn’t while I was part of the Avengers.”

A measure of tension drained out of Steve, though he still looked oddly guilty, not quite meeting Tony’s eyes. It wasn’t a good look on him. He took a deep breath as if to say something.

Before Steve could speak, Tony asked, “How did you find me?”

“Sam did some investigating down in Atlanta. He found the Sons of the Serpent’s leader, a talk show host with some high-level connections. He’s in custody now.”

“Between the information Sam got busting this guy and what Clint and I found out working with the authorities, we were able to pinpoint where those mid-level goons took you. Not that you needed our help,” Natasha cut in, temporarily tearing her attention from Jody. She raised her chin appraisingly at Tony. “That’s quite the anima you have, not exactly the domesticated cat you’re registered as.”

Thor sat up in interest, as he always did when the subject of animas came up. “I had not known that such creatures existed on Midgard. Tell me, what is the form of your spirit called?”

“It looked an awful lot like a griffin, which as far as I know, doesn’t exist.” Clint crossed his arms.

Tony tightened his grip around the water glass, refusing to look at anyone. This was the exact subject he’d hoped to avoid.

“Some myths and legends attribute figures, like King Arthur and Heracles, with unreal anima and powers to match,” Bruce said, adjusting his glasses, “but those are considered pure fiction.”

Bruce was right. No known anima ever manifested as anything that didn’t currently exist and they certainly didn’t come with flames.

Steve put his hand on Tony’s knee. “Tony?”

“My anima changed. Don’t know why, don’t know how,” Tony said, though that wasn’t strictly true.

Though he didn’t realize it at first, something changed within him in Afghanistan, when saw what he’d become a part of. Forged in fire, his anima had become something new, something he couldn’t understand or control.

“On Asgard, our spirits, animas as you call them, do not manifest the same way they do for you mortals, but they still are shaped by our most essential natures. My lightning grew more powerful as I grew to better understand myself and the path the Norns put me on. Perhaps it is the same for you, Stark.”

“You make it sound noble. Maybe you’re right, about understanding myself.”  Tony laughed wryly. “But I don’t deserve it.”

“I was always told that animas were a part of ourselves that we’ll never fully be able to explain,” Steve said. “But I do know it’s not a matter of deserving, but a matter of who you are.”

“I know I don’t deserve anything as noble as that, don’t act like you don’t agree. Because the shift? It hurts, like nothing else. Call it penance for my mistakes.”

“You—” Steve’s face flickered between expressions, confusion, anger, sadness. “Did you really think all that back there?”

“All what?” Tony obfuscated. How much had they heard via Natasha’s surveillance equipment?

Steve clenched his fists. “What you said in the warehouse, about the team not liking you.”

“Yeah, I’d like to know what that was about, too.” Natasha crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at Tony.

“I’m not going to pretend it isn’t true. I _know_ you guys tolerate me at best.”

It was clear from the way they wouldn’t stay shifted in front of him that they weren’t interested in being friendly with him, that they didn’t trust him.

Then there were all the too-pointed jokes at Tony’s expense, about his money, his reputation, his ego. Sure they seemed all in good fun, Tony certainly threw his fair share of snark back their way, but it was hard to ignore that no one else got quite the same treatment.

Thor jumped in. “Have care what you say, never have I been prouder to call someone my shield brother. You do yourself and me a dishonor to assume otherwise.”

“We need to do better. It’s unacceptable that you’d think that,” Steve said, looking down at his clenched fists. He couldn’t even look Tony in the eye while lying to him. “We’re more than just a team, and we’ve been letting you down.”

Clint nodded. “You may be an asshole, but you’re our asshole, you know.”

“Maybe if you spent more time with us— joined us for dinner, came to game night…” Steve added, gaining steam.  

“I don’t just invite you to be polite, Tony. We really do want you there.” Bruce placed a hand on Tony’s arm.

Steve continued, “We need to do better, but it’s not all on us, you need to reach out too.”

“Stop it.” Fuck Steve and the Avengers and their pity. He didn’t need them trying to sooth his hurt feelings just because they found out he knew what they really thought of him. He was used to it. People have hated Tony’s guts for years. “I don’t need you to force yourselves to reach out or whatever.”

“You never even gave me—us—a chance!”

“Stop bullshitting me, Steve!” Tony wasn’t going to let Steve dangle almost everything he ever wanted in front of him like that. “You don’t want me around. I don’t know why you’re even trying to convince me otherwise.”

“Because I care about you!” The room fell into stunned silence; only the sound of Steve’s harsh breathing seemed present in the room.

“Let’s give them some space,” Natasha said, herding the rest of the Avengers out. Clint scooped Jody up from Tony’s lap.

“I have for a long time, as more than just a teammate.”

“What are you saying?” Tony felt like he was adding five and nine and getting ten. Nothing made sense.

“I’m saying that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about someone, I’m not about to let it slip through my fingers again.”

Twisting the sheets in his hands, Tony cast about for anything that could help him understand. “How could you—you barely know me.”

“I’d like to. I’ve liked what I’ve seen so far…”

This had to be some sort of joke. But Steve’s face was dead serious. Could Steve actually like him? Maybe even feel something more?

A blush colored Steve’s cheeks. “You don’t—you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”

“No, no, give me a moment. It’s—” Tony cut himself off.

“Unexpected?”

“To say the least.” Tony paused, feeling as though he were balanced on the edge of a precipice and about to plunge down. Licking his lips, he looked backed at Steve. “So you like me?”

“I’d say it’s a bit more than like.”

“So you lo—” He shied away at the last second and couldn’t get the word out.

“Love you? If you’d let me.”

“I, uh, might be willing to do that. Since I feel, uh, the same. As you. More than like.” Shit, he sounded like such a teenager, no worse. He hadn’t been this bad since before MIT. “Wait, no, start over. I need to come up with something wildly romantic and sweep you off your feet.”

Warmth bubbled up inside Tony as Steve laughed. He started to believe, just a little bit that he might not know everything.

 

**Author's Note:**

> On various the Avengers' animas:  
> Tony is a griffin, half [golden eagel](http://animals.sandiegozoo.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/golden_eagel_01.jpg) and half [melanistic jaguar](http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/a0da9413eb5b471685d99eaa28de3ea8/panther-or-black-jaguar-panthera-onca-b764jf.jpg) with a bit of Firebird/pheonix thrown in  
> (He used to be a [house cat](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/fa/cc/c1/faccc14c60926a2653ba65ca65596af1--ocicat-egyptian-mau.jpg))  
> Steve is a [white lion](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/White-lion-images-20.jpg)  
> Natasha is a [sable](http://amur-heilong.net/pho/03_species/hunting_harvest/images/image/solkin_sable.JPG)  
> Clint is a [red-tailed hawk](https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6133/5924825258_3776934d20_b.jpg)  
> Bruce is a [black bear](http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/acitizenofearth/files/2013/05/black-bear-standing.jpg)  
> We don't see him shifted, but Sam is a [orange-breasted falcon](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/c6/d0/9bc6d05bc4e1c4c97ef5e0554bbe59aa.jpg)  
> Thor cannot shift because his anima manifests as lightning.
> 
> These are the three prompts I used, I might not have gotten every part of all of them, but I tried to hit the important bits.
> 
> 1\. Steve suddenly finds himself babysitting a friend's kid for whatever reason. Literally babysit. Because it's a baby. He knows he might be called out at any minute for an assemble, but he's made arrangements. But the rest of the Avengers have made themselves scarce. Except Tony. Apparently he loves kids. Just no one has trusted him with kids - let alone babies - ever. That's not particularly fair, since no one has ever given him the chance to show them how much he knows, and how much he learned when he was not much older than a kid himself.
> 
> 2\. Been done a bazillion times, but Tony thinks nobody likes him/loves him and then gets kidnapped or some other similar situation where he can be overheard and it gets out that he thinks that way, so the team and Steve in particular are horrified at this. Cue them and him putting Tony's feelings and thoughts to rights.
> 
> 3\. A shifter fic where Tony's form hasn't been seen since Afghanistan. Rumors abound. The Avengers have seen hints of it, but they haven't seen Tony in his fully shifted form, for whatever reason you choose for Tony to have not to share with his teammates. Tony's form has changed after Afghanistan. But it's not small or weak. No, in fact it's become stronger since Afghanistan, and it may even have changed completely. Evolved, even, into something mythological or mystical and rare. So many fics have Tony's shifted form as small, as... not weak, always, but less so than the other team members. I want a fic where he is strong, and where Steve, though he is a strong and vibrant form as well, brings Tony out, and helps Tony to trust again. Perhaps their forms match or connect, even. Something. I'd just like to see shifter Tony as stronger than the others.


End file.
